Dear Josh xox

Before I go to bed tonight, I wanted you to know that the sound of the beautiful Fall leaves rustling remind me of you. The big harvest moon makes me think of your warm smile and when I see
a pumpkin on a porch it makes me smile thinking of your kindness.


I wish that you could have been with us longer so that I could have had more time to tell you all the things I thought that I would have a lifetime to say.


We were so blessed to have you in our lives.


We miss you  more then words can say.

How does one celebrate the holidays when a loved one is so sorely missed?

Creating new rituals and new traditions that may pay tribute to the memory of your loved one might be one way to survive - and perhaps even embrace - the holidays when a loved one has passed away.


"Happy Holidays!" is a greeting we hear often at this time of year - but if you're mourning the loss of a loved one, the holiday season may be anything but happy for you. Perhaps there is no time of the year when we are more aware of the empty space our loved one has left behind than during the busy holiday season.


Suggestions for Coping with Grief During the Holidays

Have a family meeting. List all the things you ordinarily do for the holidays (sending greeting cards, decorating the house, stringing outdoor lights, putting up a tree, holiday baking, entertaining business associates, buying something special to wear, going to parties, visiting friends, exchanging gifts, preparing a big meal, etc.) Decide together what's important to each of you, what you want to do this year, what you can let go of, and what you can do differently. For each task on the list, ask yourself these questions:

Would the holidays be the holidays without doing this? Is this something I really want to do? Do I do it freely, or out of habit or tradition? Is it a one-person job, or can it be a group effort? Who's responsible for getting it done? Do I really like doing it?

Do some things differently this year. Trying to recreate the past may remind you all the more that your loved one is missing. This year, try celebrating the holidays in a totally different way. Nothing is the same as it used to be anyway. Go to a restaurant. Visit relatives or friends. Travel somewhere you've never gone before. If you decide to put up a tree, put it in a different location and make or buy different decorations for it. Hang a stocking in your loved one's memory, and ask each family member to express their thoughts and feelings by writing a note to, from or about your loved one, and place the notes in that special stocking for everyone to read. Buy a poinsettia for your home as a living memorial to your loved one for the holiday season.


Do other things more simply. You don't have to discard all your old traditions forevermore, but you can choose to observe the holidays on a smaller scale this year.

Take good care of yourself. Build time in your day to relax, even if you're having trouble sleeping. Eat and keep up your strength, even if you've lost your appetite, eat smaller portions more frequently throughout the day. (Sweet, sugary foods are everywhere, from Halloween until Easter, but too much sugar will deplete what little energy you have.) Get some daily exercise, even if it's just a walk around the block. Avoid drinking alcohol, which intensifies depression and disrupts normal sleep.

Just do it. We all know that we ought to think positively, eat right, exercise more and get enough rest - but grief by its very nature robs us of the energy we need to do all those good and healthy things. Accept that in spite of what we know, it's often very hard to do what's good for us-then do it anyway. Don't wait until you feel like doing it.

Pay attention to yourself. Notice what you're feeling and what it is you need. Feelings demand expression, and when we acknowledge them and let them out, they go away. Feelings that are "stuffed" don't go anywhere; they just fester and get worse. If you need help from others, don't expect them to read your mind. It's okay to ask for what you need. Besides, doing a favor for you during the holidays may make them feel better, too. Be patient and gentle with yourself, and with others as well.

Expect to feel some pain. Plan on feeling sad at certain moments throughout the season, and let the feelings come. Experience the pain and tears, deal with them, then let them go. Have faith that you'll get through this and that you will survive.

Seek support from others. Grieving is hard work, and it shouldn't be done alone. You need to share your experience with someone who understands and accepts the pain of your loss. If your spouse, relative or friend cannot be the source of that support, you can find it elsewhere. Many hospices offer special workshops in the months of November and December to help survivors get through the holiday season. The National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization maintains a database of hospices for each state in the United States. .

Give something of yourself to others. As alone as you may feel in your grief, one of the most healing things you can do for yourself is to be with other people, especially during the holidays. Caring for and giving to others will nourish and sustain you, and help you to feel better about yourself. If you can bring yourself to do so, visit someone in a nursing home or hospice, or volunteer your time at your church or synagogue, or at the local humane society or animal shelter. Do whatever you can, and let it be enough.
Copyright © 2003 – 2009 by Marty Tousley




What are ways that helped you coped with grief during the holidays in the past?


What will you do this year to cope with grief during the holidays?

A common brotherhood....

Deer hunting time is here again
And many hunters take to the woods
After months of planning with family and friends
They gather in common brotherhood

It's a freedom that fills the soul of a man
With the peace of God's nature all around
Lessons that have been taught since time began
And lifelong memories and friendships are found

Hunting is taught by tradition still yet
Knowledge passed on from man to man
And you'll learn things that you'll never forget
And respect nature more, our wildlife, and our land

So all you hunters enjoy this time
May you be skilled and have lots of luck
May God bless you as you hunt today
And may you bag that ten point buck! !


Poem by: Kathleen West

Steven Bell.....Friends are forever...

I don't think there could possibly be words to say a special thank you to Steven.

Steven is the meaning of the phrase "Friends are forever"

From the moment he rushed around the world to get home when he heard of the sad news, he has been Josh's forever friend. He has spent hours upon hours creating the beautiful jewelry made from guitar picks in Josh's memory, he has been a constant support beam with the blog and he has so generously given the most amazing and thoughtful gift from his heart. He presented Josh's mom, Linda, Marcia and Joe a beautiful young Crimson King Red Maple Tree that will be planted in Josh's memory.

Words just can't possibly express how much this special tree will be cherished and loved.

Thank you Steven..

Thank you for being the meaning of a true friend..

A forever friend...

As we walk our path of life,
We meet people everyday.
Most are simply met by chance.
But, some are sent our way.
 

These become special friends
Whose bond we can't explain;
The ones who understand us
And share our joy and pain.

Their love contains no boundaries.
So, even we are apart.
Their presence enhances us
With a warmth felt in the heart.

This love becomes a passageway,
When even the miles disappear.
And so, these friends, God sends our way,
Remain forever near.

~Unknown

A lil' reminder -

If you have any pictures of Josh that you would like to share on the blog, please send them to joshuawaltonpowell@yahoo.com!

We would love to add your photos!

A special thank you to Jenny for being the first to send in some wonderful photos!
Thank you Jenny!

10 Things I Love About You

I remember years ago Josh asked me if I had ever seen the movie "10 Things I hate about you". He said "Aunt Jobeth you HAVE to see it, it's so funny!" I feel sad because I still have never seen that movie. I am going to make it a priority to rent the dvd and watch it. I will make popcorn, sit down, watch it and I know it will make me smile with thoughts of Josh laughing at the funny parts. Josh's amazing sense of humor was among the many, many things that I loved about him. xox


I thought it would be nice if we took a few minutes and typed down 10 things that we loved about Josh.
It will be so wonderful to read and share each others lists. :)


All you have to do is click on the comment button under this post!


1.) I love how you always had a smile on your face.
2.) I love how you found humor in the ups and downs of life.
3.) I love how you would 'get' my sarcasm and we could laugh at even the boring parts of life!
4.) I loved the big brown curls in your hair when you were a baby. Your mom always made sure you looked so adorable!
5.) I loved how talented you were. I am still in awe and always will be.
6.) I loved how you never hesitated to help anyone.
7.) I loved how you could whip up an amazing hamburger on the George Foreman grill!
8.) I loved what a hard worker you were. I am so proud of you for having your own business! I remember when you told me on the phone that you even did the snow plowing for Livonia Mall during the slow winter months.  
9.) I loved how down to earth your personality was. Such a beautiful quality to have.
10.) I love how easy it was to think of 10 things that I love about you, because that is the type of person you were. I honestly could keep this list growing and growing. I loved your kind heart and soul. I truly loved being your Aunt. xoxo

I'll be missing you (LYRICS)

Cherish his memory and let it live on xox

“You can shed tears that he is gone,
or you can smile because he has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that he'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all he's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see him,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember him only that he is gone,
or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what he'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and remember on.”


~David Harkins

September 11th, 1984 - xox

Happy Birthday Josh xox
Words cannot express how very much you are missed.
The day you were born, you made the world a better place.
On your birthday, you shine down upon us from the Heavens.
Twinkling stars light up the sky now just as your smile used to light up a room..


You are endlessly loved and so deeply missed. xoxo

Popular Culture 1984

•The MTV Video Music Awards Started
•36 of Britain and Ireland's top pop musicians gathered in a Notting Hill studio to form Band Aid and recorded the song "Do They Know It's Christmas" in order to raise money for famine relief in Ethiopia
•Michael Jackson wins unprecedented acclaim for his Album Thriller and sales over 37 million copies


Popular Films
•Ghostbusters
•Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
•Gremlins
•Beverly Hills Cop
•Terms of Endearment
•The Karate Kid
•Star Trek III: The Search for Spock
•Police Academy
•Romancing the Stone
•Splash
•The Terminator
•Amadeus
•The Killing Fields
•A Passage To India


Popular Musicians
•Phil Collins
•Alison Moyet
•Billy Joel
•Tina Turner with " What's Love got to do with it "
•David Bowie
•Wham! with " Wake Me up Before You Go "
•Billy Ocean
•UB40
•Stevie Wonder with " I Just Called to say I love You "
•Bruce Springsteen
•Kenny Rogers
•Bananarama
•Duran Duran with " The Reflex "
•Ultravox
•Cars


Popular TV Programs
•Magnum, P.I.
•Dynasty
•Entertainment Tonight
•Falcon Crest
•Hill Street Blues
•Cagney and Lacey
•Cheers
•Fame
•Knight Rider
•The A-Team •Jeopardy!

Pictures from Jenny

The Red Maple Tree...

The most common tree with beautiful, bright scarlet leaves, is found all over the east coast of America. It is found growing in Manitoba and Newfoundland to Florida and even as far as East Texas. The red Maple tree can grow in different types of soil and can even grow on mountains with an elevation up to 6,000 feet. The red Maple is the first to flower in spring and has a short lifespan of only 150 years. These trees reach maturity only after 70 to 80 years of its life. The soft wood is used to make low cost wood furniture and in wooden crafts. The sap is tapped to harvest small quantities of sap. This shady tree is a source of food for white tail deer and elk. Red Maple is a fast growing tree and is susceptible to many pests and diseases.
Source: http://www.buzzle.com/articles/maple-tree-facts.html


The Red Maple reminds me of Josh.
Just as the Red Maple shares it's beautiful bright scarlet leaves-
Josh shared a warm smile with all of us.
The Red Maple can grow in different types of soil, even on a mountain top.
Josh worked hard at making his business successful, always putting in a long day and top notch work.
He faced challenges with resilience and always tried to rise above without complaints.
The Red Maple is the first to flower and has a short lifespan...
Josh was the first born bringing such joy and happiness, just as the Red Maple- his life was far too short.
Thoughts of Josh and the Red Maple both take my breath away with their beautiful spirit.
We miss you so much Josh xoxo
Love, Aunt Jobeth xox

Helping each other through the tough moments during each day.

It can be tough to know what to say or do when someone you care about is grieving. It’s common to feel helpless, awkward, or unsure. You may be afraid of intruding, saying the wrong thing, or making the person feel even worse. Or maybe you feel there’s little you can do to make things better.

While you can’t take away the pain of the loss, you can provide much-needed comfort and support. There are many ways to help a grieving friend or family member, starting with letting the person know you care.

Don’t let discomfort prevent you from reaching out to someone who is grieving. Now, more than ever, your support is needed. You might not know exactly what to say or what to do, but that’s okay. You don’t need to have answers or give advice. The most important thing you can do for a grieving person is to simply be there. Your support and caring presence will help them cope with the pain and begin to heal.

Here are a few ways to help each other manage the pain of grief:
1.) Accept and acknowledge all feelings. Let the grieving person know that it’s okay to cry in front of you, to get angry, or to break down. Don’t try to reason with them over how they should or shouldn’t feel. The bereaved should feel free to express their feelings, without fear of judgment, argument, or criticism.

2.) Be willing to sit in silence. Don’t press if the grieving person doesn’t feel like talking. You can offer comfort and support with your silent presence. If you can’t think of something to say, just offer eye contact, a squeeze of the hand, or a reassuring hug.

3.) Let the bereaved talk about how their loved one died. People who are grieving may need to tell the story over and over again, sometimes in minute detail. Be patient. Repeating the story is a way of processing and accepting the death. With each retelling, the pain lessens.

4.) Offer comfort and reassurance without minimizing the loss. Tell the bereaved that what they’re feeling is okay. If you’ve gone through a similar loss, share your own experience if you think it would help. However, don’t give unsolicited advice, claim to “know” what the person is feeling, or compare your grief to theirs.
Source: Helpguide.org

Comments to avoid when comforting those suffering through grief:
1.) "I know how you feel." One can never know how another may feel. You could, instead, ask your friend to tell you how he or she feels.

2.) "It's part of God's plan." This phrase can make people angry and they often respond with, "What plan? Nobody told me about any plan."

3.) "Look at what you have to be thankful for." They know they have things to be thankful for, but right now they are not important.

4.) "He's in a better place now." The bereaved may or may not believe this. Keep your beliefs to yourself unless asked.

5.) "This is behind you now; it's time to get on with your life." Sometimes the bereaved are resistant to getting on with because they feel this means "forgetting" their loved one. In addition, moving on is easier said than done. Grief has a mind of its own and works at its own pace.

6.) Avoid statements that begin with "You should" or "You will." These statements are too directive.
Instead you could begin your comments with: "Have you thought about. . ." or "You might. . ."
Source: American Hospice Foundation

Grieving continues long after the funeral is over and the cards and flowers have stopped. The length of the grieving process varies from person to person. But in general, grief lasts much longer than most people expect. Your bereaved friend or family member may need your support for the rest of their lives.

You can find more information about working through the heartbreak and pain of the loss we have suffered from the source of this post at: http://www.helpguide.org/topics/grief.htm

For the love of music -upcoming concerts

We all know how much Josh loved music and enjoyed a good concert. Music is such a powerful thing. It can bring a smile, help heal a heart, and get you through a tough day.

There still might be time to get your tickets to see Aerosmith!
Tuesday, Aug 31, 2010 7:30 pm at The Palace of Auburn Hills.

Seether - Sept. 2, 7:00pm at The Machine Shop, Detroit, Mi.

Nickleback -Sept. 18, 6:15 pm at Joe Louis Arena.

Is there a favorite concert that you attended with Josh?
Why not share your memory below!
We would love to hear from you!

Around Town - 2010 Pumpkinfest coming soon

Saturday, October 2nd and Sunday, October 3rd, 2010

Josh had so many wonderful and special qualities that made him shine so brightly it would be impossible to list them all. One, was his generous heart and giving nature. He was always there to help a friend out.

Pumpkinfest always needs volunteers for a variety of fun jobs. If you can spare a couple hours, why not spread the gift of a helping hand, the way Josh always did, by giving a little bit of your time.

From classic rock to family-friendly fun, Pumpkinfest is South Lyon’s can’t miss event.


The South Lyon Area Pumpkinfest was started 26 years ago by the late Dean Sparks. Over the years, the event grew from a craft and antique show to a weekend-long celebration of crafts, music, community and of course, everyone's favorite fall product: the pumpkin!


For more information please visit:
http://www.southlyonpumpkinfest.com


Information courtesy of:
South Lyon Area Pumpkinfest

Hallows' Eve Cake Donation Bundle

All Hallow's Eve Cake bundle:

For a $25.00 donation you will receive:

A scrumptious smelling, 4 ounce, super concentrated, room spray and a festive Halloween Stitchery Sampler Sign, gift wrapped with hang tag and mailed right to your front door!
A perfect way to welcome Fall!

Please email: primfills@yahoo.com
(subject: donation for Josh)
to purchase yours for a $25.00 donation.

Please email me your donation request and choice of sign.
I will quickly send you a PayPal invoice which includes
convenient & secure ways to pay for your donation-
including credit card and debit card.

Thank you so much for your donation!

*All proceeds (minus shipping charges that must be paid to the postal service) go to the future foundation that will be set up in Josh's name.